Recent news stories involving sexting, wine, toasters, politicians and penises indicate some men need a refresher course, so here are my 10 rules for keeping your penis out of trouble.
By Suzanne Moore, The Guardian
By Andy Blackmore, Metro UK
So, once more poor old Stephen Gough, AKA the Naked Rambler is doing porridge. This time he’s got 11 months stir, for as always, his refusal to wear clothes. Frankly, as far as I’m concerned, rather than waste time locking him up we should make an example of him and give him a knighthood.
Now, I’m not making a mockery out of the honours system. I’m too late for that – they’ve already done it themselves. Recent recipients have gone from bad to worse and such false idols have devalued things to the point of farce.
There’s nothing funny about a comedian getting a gong. That is, unless, he’s actually done something to merit it. So perhaps I’m missing the point.
"In a world that seems to get greyer by the day, I’ve got a lot of respect for someone who refuses to conform."
Now Mr Gough – he has a point. Not only does he believe that it is his human right to be naked in public, he’s quite prepared to defend that right the only way he can – by taking his clothes off.
Come on, is the sight of a middle aged man wearing no cloths that shocking it’s a breach of the peace? I don’t think so. At last, we’d be rewarding someone who actually deserves it – a man with convictions – lots of them. One with the balls, quite literally, to stand by his beliefs and accept imprisonment rather than compromise his principles. That my friend is a true idol and real role model.
So I think he deserves recognition. Arise Sir Gough. Here is a man with a passion, one who does what he believes is right. Right or wrong he’s prepared to make a stand (albeit in the nude).
In a world that seems to get greyer by the day, I’ve got a lot of respect for someone who refuses to conform. In a world that sees nonconformism as vice, rather than a virtue, I salute someone who won’t play by our petty rules.
In fact, by recognising Mr Gough, we’d actually be elevating the honours list in eyes of most people. Here is a chance to save and redeem them. Let’s face it, they couldn’t become more of a joke.
However, if a knighthood is not on the cards then can we please just leave Mr Gough alone? Both he and the law have made their points. So far he has spent much of the last six years behind bars. He’s received 28 convictions for 46 offences – mainly in Scotland – just for being nude.
But, I hear you shout, he has no respect for the law. Easy to say, but it’s a two way street. The law has forgotten it has no automatic right to respect. If it expects any, it needs to earn it. It’s done precious little to do that here – quite frankly, and quite literally, the law is an ass.
It’s ‘Royal Ascot’ which is one of Europe’s most famous race meetings, and dates back to 1711 when it was founded by Queen Anne. Every year Royal Ascot is attended by HM Elizabeth II and various members of the British Royal Family such as The Prince of Wales, arriving each day in a horse-drawn carriage with the Royal procession taking place at the start of each race day and the raising of the Queen’s Royal Standard. It is a major event in the British social calendar, and press coverage of the attendees and what they are wearing often exceeds coverage of the actual racing. There are three enclosures attended by guests on Royal Ascot week.
Royal Ascot takes place at Ascot Racecourse, located in the small town of Ascot, Berkshire, UK.
Ascot Racecourse, especially during Royal Ascot, is famous for its strict and detailed dress code. Which you can read here (it’s just too long and boring to copy and paste here!).
"If all this sounds absurdly prescriptive, it’s because Royal Ascot is creating an absurd situation: dress codes are usually a way of keeping the wrong people out, not coaching them on how to fit in. No sportswear, no football colours, no pyjamas in the supermarket. The only places that normally have to give such stringent guidance on hem lengths and hat size are work and school – places you don’t belong to by choice, which use apparel to stamp themselves on your identity…
…The demise of formalwear is part of it: the number of occasions for which jeans are inappropriate is probably fewer than the number of pairs of jeans you own. And when nobody wears a hat any more, anything on your head – even if it is just one pluming feather – can feel like making an effort.
But most of all, I think it’s about the occupants of the royal enclosure needing to feel reassured that the ticket they’ve paid for is keeping the wrong people out. You may not be totally au fait with the coded class meaning of the spaghetti strap (it means you have no class, apparently), but with all the money and effort you’ve made to get in there, you’re bound to notice if someone else if lowering the tone with too much knee flesh.
It’s a sign of wealth closing ranks. No more of the pretence that social mobility is likely or desirable: in the coalition’s Britain, it’s openly acknowledged that the poor will stay poor and the rich will stay rich. And the rich, increasingly keen to assume that their spoils are a result of good character (and not, say, luck or greed), prefer not to be confronted with the sight of other people struggling to articulate the signs of privilege – or worse, to feel that they themselves are showing their lack of breeding.
Any slip-up could betray them all, give away the secret that they’re not some separate, midriff-less caste whose innate talents have simply drawn money towards them. The more they measure their hat bases and tug at their skirts, the more it’s obvious that what rich people really fear isn’t a commoner slipping past the sentries and sidling among them; it’s that their own commonness might start to show.”
So in short, it’s about snobbism! So where does naturism/social nudity fit into all this? Well let me explain:
Thoreau wrote "It is an interesting question how far men would retain their respective rank if they were divested of their clothes." All other things held equal, when nude, a king appears no different than a peasant, a doctor no different than a steelworker, a wealthy CEO no different than his lowest-paid employee. Thus, these classifications disappear and the playing field is levelled.
Society says you must have clothing at all time when in public. Even the simplest tasks, such as stepping out your front door to pick up the newspaper, require you to get dressed. A naturist’s outfit is always easily available. Sleep nude, and you are already “dressed” when you awake.
Still not conviced? Let K. Bacher explain:
"Nudity promotes social equality, feelings of unity with others, and more relaxed social interaction in general… clothing locks us into a collective unreality that prescribes complex responses to social status, roles and expected behaviours. As the artificial barrier of clothing is done away with, social class and status disappear. People begin to relate to each other as they are, and not as they seem to be.”
"Naturists tend to be especially accepting of other people, just as they are. This is an attitude that is undoubtedly related to the fact that Naturists are generally more accepting of their own bodies, just as they are, than the general public."
"Socially and demographically, nudists are almost exactly like the rest of the population, except that they are tolerant of nudity. There are few other trends, social or psychological, positive or negative, that correlate to a statistically significant degree with nudists as a demographic group."
"Naturism rejects blind conformity to cultural mores and assumptions about the body, which see clothing as a constant necessity, in favor of a more reasoned, rational approach which recognizes the need for clothing to be dependent on context."
At the end of the day, we are all human and I believe that we shouldn’t have/don’t need dress codes. Especially when clothing is used to separate, categorise and even demonise different groups of people and individuals. I never heard of a horse that has complained at the sight of a nude human - nor “needed” to be clothed to to separate themselves from other horses!
If you want to know more about naturism, please visit our main Naturism page on iNaked.
The “naked rambler” has been jailed for 11 months after being found guilty of breaching an anti-social behaviour order (Asbo) banning him from being naked in public just minutes after it was imposed.
Stephen Gough, 53, of Chamberlayne Road, Eastleigh, Hampshire, was not allowed in court for his trial after he refused to wear clothes. He had denied the charge but offered no defence during the hearing at Portsmouth Crown Court.
Simon Jones, prosecuting, said the naked rights activist left Southampton Magistrates’ Court on February 28 after being handed the interim order and walked, wearing just his boots and socks, to the road where he was arrested while still holding the order saying he must cover his buttocks and genitalia.
The jury was told that police offered Gough clothes to cover himself, but he refused to take them… Read More.
One in five Britons are happy to strip off at a nude beach during a holiday abroad while just one in 20 would go to a nudist beach in Britain, according to a survey by the online travel agent On the Beach.
Men were found to be more keen to bare it all than women, with one in three men wiling to use a naturist beach abroad and 10 per cent happy to go clothes-free on Britain’s nudist beaches. Women seemed to be more reserved, with only 12 per cent willing to head to a nudist beach on foreign shores and a mere two per cent saying they would strip off on a beach in Britain.
In a sign that perhaps we shed our inhibitions as we get older, those over 50 were more confident to go naked on home shores, with nearly one in 10 willing to use nude beaches in Britain compared to only two per cent of those aged under 30. However, one in five of those under 30 were willing to use nudist beaches abroad… Read More.
February 2009. BBC3 UK TV. Psychologist Emma Kenny and image consultant Jonathan Phang launch a radical self-confidence building course, as a group of five professionals undertake a series of challenges designed to help them get rid of inner demons and help their self-esteem at work and at home. It culminates in a dramatic naked stunt in which we find out who has gained the confidence to literally bare all.
Five female estate agents must address a live audience and reveal their most intimate fears, jump from a 200ft bungee and confront loved ones to heal rifts from the past, before taking on the most dramatic challenge of all - to walk down a catwalk naked.